12 Weeks {enter something witty here}

Monday, January 13, 2014


My babies are 12 weeks and will be 3 months this week! WHAT?!?! My first instinct is to say "wow, where has the time gone?" And then I stop and think that these last 3 months are a weird mix of time going incredibly fast... and incredibly slow. I think I've decided the days (and especially nights) are slow, but the weeks and months are fast. I'm not sure if that even makes sense, but it does in my mind.

I constantly battle with myself whether I am loving that they are growing older or that I am sad about it. I think the general consensus is that each new day and week brings a new discovery, ability, or expression that makes my heart melt and brings so much excitement and happiness. And let's be honest, it has been hard. I mean really, really hard. I am more grateful for Max and Clara than I can ever explain, but that doesn't mean having two newborns is any easier because of it.

There have been days that feeding myself deserves a pat on the back. I still haven't really cooked a meal (and I don't think Kraft Mac N' Cheese counts). I have spilt a bag of breast milk twice now, and both times has brought me to tears. Whoever said "don't cry over spilled milk" never pumped exclusively for twins. Goodness. We are still struggling to get sleep, and hence walk around like mega zombies (and NO! twins don't just magically get on the same schedule, since I seem to be asked that almost daily). Anyway, the point is, it's been rough, but it's also been so, so beautiful and wonderful. Max and Clara are my world. I know the future isn't going to get easier per se, but I am pretty confident more sleep can only help. :)

I just love how as these little guys squirm and kick around their little feet turn up like that. It makes me smile.

6 comments:

JOHNNY.BECKY.HAZEL said...

They are so-oo beautiful!! And I'm sure you are so-oo tired. I thought I was going to literally die my first year of becoming a mom because of sleep deprivation (and you have two!!) But I promise, one day, you will sleep again!

Kayla Smith said...

I'm not convinced one day I will sleep again, but perhaps I might get more than I am now =) It's funny how some days you get up & seemingly your body functions but after a few nights of rough up&down sleep you feel like a maniac. I understand now what everyone meant by "enjoy the sleep" although I think it's dumb because before kids, you just sleep. it's not like I knew how to enjoy it anymore than I was. But sigh, you will smell like milk & spit up, have baggy eyes & wonder if you even brushed your teeth that morning, but they'll laugh a little different or smile at you in just that perfect way and you're like "I would do it all over again." PS crazy props for nursing! It's a blessing but that doesn't make it enjoyable =) at least not for me.

Angela Joy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Angela Joy said...

Another beautiful post! I love how it was posted at 12:04 am!! Just speaks to your life right now. You are a wonderful mother. (BTW, I was the one who deleted the previous post. . . couldn't spell!)

rach said...

I think you captured the feelings of motherhood pretty darn well.

Your kids are so stinkin cute. Clara? I can totally see you in her in this pic. When can I meet these two little darlings?!???!? Up for a road trip? HAHAHA...

Ashton + Brian said...

So sweet. I'm not sure if it goes fast or slow, but it sure is blurry! I can only imagine how blurry things are with two. You're my hero, but I'm also still jealous you get to have two babies lying on you! :)
The nights do seen really long. Sown times I just want to cry or be irritated that I've been up long enough to watch 3 Fresh Princes, but then I see little baby toes popping out from under a blanket and I just die.